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indecision
The new pope should pop up from beneath the stage like Beyonce did at the Super Bowl.

Mar 13

indecision
I guess this means they got tired of waiting for God to show up to vote.

Mar 13

indecision
"Quick, let's pick a pope so Dennis Rodman will go away!"

Mar 11

indecision
Every daylight saving time, Rick Santorum sets his clock back fifty years.

Mar 02

indecision
Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman becoming best friends should fill us with hope that Republicans and Democrats can settle their differences.

Dec 31

indecision
Kim Kardashian's baby is already famous without having done anything, so you know it's going to take after its mother.

Nov 07

indecision
Wow, I bet Mitt Romney wishes he could fire Ohio right now.

Nov 07

indecision
Fox News still insisting John McCain won in 2008.

Nov 02

indecision
I just hope no one tries to get the NYC Marathon runners arrested by handing them 32 oz. cups.

Oct 23

indecision
Last night's debate didn't sum up America's foreign policy half as well as the Iron Man 3 trailer does.

Oct 22

indecision
Not only is Iran 4 years closer to a nuke, the entire world is 4 years closer to 2016. #debates

Oct 22

indecision
OK. They both got through the handshake without falling down. So far this thing is a tie. #debates

Oct 22

indecision
Barack Obama going on The Tonight Show to ask Jay Leno how he kept his job even when most people were mad at him.

Oct 17

indecision
Binders full of women? So what? Bill Clinton has hard drives full of ladies.

Oct 09

indecision
Sesame Street doesn't want Big Bird associated with politics. Unlike politicians, there's a real person inside Big Bird.

Oct 05

indecision
No wonder Obama looked so tired during debates. He was up all night personally writing a fake jobs report.

Oct 05

indecision
I also believe the jobs report are fake. But that's just because I believe we're all stuck in The Matrix.

Oct 04

indecision
Barack Obama was only smirking because he was thinking, "It's actually kind of funny how much I'm losing right now." http://t.co/VFjw5Iqm

Oct 03

indecision
Ooh, yay, now we're going to fill that Poli Sci 101 requirement we missed in college.

Oct 03

indecision
Imagine if Mitt Romney could sit on a pile of coal with Big Bird, talking about green energy and the way he did it in MA. He'd be so happy.

Oct 03

indecision
Does the Affordable Care Act really say insurance companies can't "jerk you around"? In those exact words? #debate

Oct 03